100 Days of Gratitude - Day 1

This was the yummy cheesecake my wonderful
in-laws got me for my Birthday! I had a huge piece.
This... is why fasting is hard.

THE FAST

At my church, we have something called Fast Sunday. Basically, the members are encouraged to go without food and water for two consecutive meals. With the money we save on those two meals, we donate that to people who need it. During the course of the Fast Sunday, we pray and draw closer to the Lord. Frequently members will have a specific concern for which they are seeking special guidance.

I am pregnant, so going without food or water for two meals is not going to happen, nor is it recommended by the church. In the past during my pregnancy, I have just enjoyed the fact that I don't have to feel guilty for not fasting. To those who know me, it is one of the hardest commandments for me to 'swallow'. I like to eat... a lot.

THE STRUGGLE

But this Fast Sunday, I decided to 'fast'. Instead of watching TV Sunday morning, as I have done on many occasions, I turned on the church music and tried to draw closer to Heavenly Father. My fast was to just try and make my Sunday more reverent.

Normally I wouldn't share my fasting experiences, as they are personal to me and sacred. Today, I'm sharing, because I feel like it might help answer someone else's concern too.

Seriously, how much bigger does that stomach
have to get? At this point I still have 3 1/2
more months! When I talk to someone who is
due before December, I'm so jealous. 

I have a hard time with patience. I don't like waiting for things. When I get something in my head, I want to do it immediately. I don't like pacing myself. This isn't the best quality for many things. I set a goal to work out to reach a certain weight, and can't figure out why I can't wear myself out at the gym for a couple of days and then arrive at the weight I want.

If I know I'll be moving soon, I start thinking about how things are going to be better once I move.

If I get pregnant, I can't understand why it takes 9 months for the baby to come. I think to myself, things will be better when the baby is born. I'll get more sleep when the baby is born. I'll be happier when I get to hold my baby. I'll keep my house cleaner after the baby is born. I can almost hear all of the mothers in the entire world out there laughing at my naivety.

I have 'the grass is greener' complex. It is very hard for me to enjoy where I am at today. It's not one of my gifts. I'm constantly looking forward to the next 'big' thing.

So, that was part of my 'fast' today. I am sure that this will be something I have to work at for the rest of my life, because this does not come naturally to me.

THE PLAN

And to my great happiness I realized I am exactly 100 days away from the due date of my baby being born. It's December 15th, for anyone who cares. I sure do. Remember? I have a hard time waiting. I've counted down many times to the due date. Surely it's closer than the last time I checked... this morning.

So, I decided to challenge myself to focus for the next 100 days on things that I am grateful for in my life. After all, if I am impatient to get to the next challenge or change in my life, I must not be appreciating where I have already gotten. When I do have my baby, my next thought will probably be, "It'll be so much nicer when the baby can start walking."

One of the precious moments I don't want to forget. This is our little princess. She was tucked right up against my
hip bone so it was hard to get a clear picture of her, but there's her cute little face. I'm so excited to meet
her for the first time and see her face to face. 

I can't have this attitude! I'm going to miss all of the precious moments in between if I don't learn how to appreciate them. So, that is the challenge I have given to myself and accepted. If I don't write one day, feel free to remind me. Also, if you want to post what you're grateful for in the comments, we can all just have a big gratitude fest and help make everyone around us happier. So... to get it started.

DAY #1

1. I am grateful for my church. It's Sunday, so that's obviously been on my mind. There are lots of aspects that I am grateful for within my church. It really is my anchor and my life. It makes things better, even if I am in the worst of situations.

Today, I'm grateful that I can pray to my Heavenly Father and receive help and revelation from Him. I am obviously not perfect and need all the help I can get. Sometimes I forget to ask, but I'm grateful that every time I go to my Heavenly Father in prayer, He answers me. It may not be right away, but He consistently reminds me that I am not alone and He is watching out for me.

2. I'm grateful Jessica came to church with us today. It was nice having someone to sit next to during the meetings and she's such a sweet girl that it just made church more enjoyable and meaningful.

3. I'm grateful for the free food I got today at the Bishop's house. IT WAS SO GOOD! Free food always tastes better than your own food. I think part of that is because you don't have to make the free food.

4. I'm grateful our laundry is done for the week, our bedroom looks better than it has looked the whole time we've been here in Durham, and we have food in our kitchen.

Duke likes to help with the laundry too. Today he spent some time inside of
the dryer while I was switching the loads. 

5. I'm grateful for the little kicks I feel every couple of minutes. Our little baby is always reminding me that she is there and alive. I'm always grateful when Austin can feel her too.

6. I'm grateful that Austin almost always drives. I like not driving. Especially with how temperamental I am in my pregnant condition. It's nice to be able to just lean back in my chair if I am not feeling well.

And I'm sure there is more, but that is a start for today.